Well, I just wrote a huge blog about how much I am dreading having to have surgery, but then decided that (1) I don't know that I'll be having surgery, (2) thinking about it makes me really anxious, so (3) I'm not going to go there until I really have to go there.
God may use surgery to heal my Crohn's, or to keep me stable, but He will have to prepare me when that time comes. I don't need to borrow trouble. Boy, am I good at that.
I'm feeling pretty good, have been for a few days. Still having diarrhea, which is worrisome, but what are you going to do? Keep eating, try and sneak in insoluable fiber, and take the probiotics (they're supposed to help with diarrhea, among other things).
The main problem right now continues to be the anxiety. I'm praying a lot and reading and memorizing Scripture, and that's really helpful. I also cry when I need to and talk to my husband and friends about it. Yesterday, one of my friends told me about Psalm 13, and I found it was perfect. Thank you, Jesus.
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
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