Not the best

So, we had a very stressful week last week, mostly because of my husband's job duties. He worked long hours, including an overnight retreat, and we had 13 college students to our tiny apartment for a meal that my husband and I prepared.

And there were the storms. I don't like storms, especially when my husband is out of town and I'm supposed to be cleaning the house and preparing the dinner.

And I still haven't found a therapist and I haven't been trying very hard. It's hard to go into therapy again. I was in it during my parents' divorce, and it's just hard to be vulnerable and open about my issues, and be willing to take advise and counsel about changes I should make. I dread it. I'm not panicking about it, which is what I did during June and July.

Anyway.

My Crohn's must be working out all that stress from the last few weeks and taking it out on my intestines. I have had problems for the past few days, and this morning I woke up with gas and discomfort, an unusual situation (I usually have problems starting in the afternoon at the earliest, as I've mentioned).

So, it's frustrating but understandable. I'm going to do what I've learned to do: sleep more, eat safe foods, exercise, drink enough water, not snack too much or eat too late. And go to a therapist.

I feel so close to healing. That sounds strange, but it's almost like I feel like there are steps that I need to take in order to either be healed of Crohn's or receive peace about it. One of the steps was the dental work. One of the steps was the psychiatric drugs for depression and anxiety. One step is going to be seeing a therapist about my besetting issues, things underlying my life that cause me conscious or unconscious stress.

I called a therapist this morning for an appointment, so I hope he can fit me in. Please pray for me. For relief from pain, for patience, for courage.

Nothing new

Well, folks, nothing new on this front.

My diarrhea has calmed down, which is great. I'm feeling much better. And I am also happy to not be drinking so much Gatorade anymore, because I don't really like it. It takes kind of slimey to me.

I'm keeping up my Crohn's chart, and I feel like that's really helpful for me. I love the format, which my husband designed, and it's great to look forward to someday looking over these charts and seeing patterns (i.e., "hmmm... when I am traveling I have lots of constipation!). Should be helpful. I may even bring it in to my doctor.

I guess some big news to share would be that we are going to switch insurance in January, to get onto my husband's plan. It's an HMO, which will be nice and also not nice. I was so anxious about switching over to a PPO last year because I thought it would cost a lot of money, and while it has cost more money, it's also been SO NICE to not have to mess with referrals and be able to go see whichever doctor I want, when I want. Some of the care my husband and I are receiving now will definitely change in payment and frequency: my husband's chiropractor, my psychiatrist, my therapist (when I pick one). We'll see what God has in store.

I think the PPO was good for this year with all my dental and emotional stuff and my husband's back and feet problems, but hopefully that will calm down next year and we'll be able to revel in the 100% coverage of many services. For now, I'm happy to have reached my deductible and almost reached the out of pocket maximum, so we won't have a lot of extra bills to pay through December.

Sorry about the boring details. It's good for me to write it out.

100th post

In Blogland, your 100th post is a big deal.

Whatever.

I see this blog more as a medical journal than a personal endeavor, so I'm not as jazzed about the numbers. I just noticed it and thought I would mention it.

I'm doing great, Crohn's-wise. No pain, no cramps, not even any more diarrhea. I took a day off last week and took a 4 hour nap, without even trying. It was good to rest. Then, yesterday, I accidentally took another 4 hour nap. There went my whole Sunday afternoon. I guess I've been needing it. Sleep is really the way my body recovers from stress.

My husband has created a beautiful and functional chart for me to chart my Crohn's symptoms on. It's really exciting. I might have to find a way to post it. I hope that it will help me be more accurate in doctor's appointments and maybe discover some lifestyle trends that affect my Crohn's, and then act accordingly. We'll see.

Thank God for sleep. Thank God for your prayers.

I spoke too soon

Today is Day Three of diarrhea. I am perplexed, especially because I feel just fine otherwise--no pain or cramping. I don't know what could be causing it, other than stress and the fact that I'm not altering my diet very much. I just assumed it was Crohn's, so I didn't think I should treat it like typical diarrhea (AKA eating rice, bananas, applesauce, toast, etc.).

But maybe I should alter my game plan.

I don't want to get dehydrated, so I'm drinking Gatorade instead of water. I'm taking Probiotics every morning, which are supposed to help with restoring my good stomach bacteria and stopping diarrhea. I'm changing what I eat today: no more leftover pizza and mac and cheese for lunch. I'm going to have rice and chicken and some tomato soup. And applesauce.

I wonder if it's a stomach bug. I wonder if it's stress. I wonder if it's the fact that I'm not getting enough sleep. Mostly I wonder and worry that it's my Crohn's rearing its ugly head after taking a break.

Sigh.

Please pray.

Too Much Information?

It has been a long time since I last posted.

Things have been very busy in our lives. And my Crohn's has not been active--yippee! I have been having some diarrhea for the past week, on and off, which concerns me, but no pain. Praise the Lord!

The new drugs I'm on for anxiety and panic are working well. I feel like my mind has quieted down so much. I still plan to do some therapy to see what is going on, deep inside, but I feel much more prepared to step forward with that.

My husband started his new job on Wednesday, and that's been exciting and new and different. Also stressful for both of us, so we've been needing a lot more sleep and downtime. But that's okay.

I would like to create a chart to chart my Crohn's. It would be a much more visual way of seeing how my Crohn's is doing. It would look something like the charts we use for birth control.

Anyway, I'll keep you all posted on my progress, but for now, praise the Lord! He has given me some rest from the pain.