Who knew?

Who knew that mere days after I wrote that last post, sweet Juni was born?

Who knew that five weeks after her birth, I'd be in the hospital for two weeks because of the mysterious back pain that I'd been experiencing since pregnancy?

Who knew that I'd have two fluke seizures while in the hospital, causing me to have to surrender my driver's license? Who knew I'd be without driving privileges until late August?

Who knew I'd be on steroids for eleven months and in the hospital again in August?

Who knew that I'd have a surgeon consult in September?

Who knew that I'd be off steroids Thanksgiving and have now been off them for two months?

Who knew that yesterday and today would be the first pain I've had since August?

God knew.

And He knows how He'll take care of me for whatever is to come. He knows my fears, my anxious nature, my depression, my despair over this disease. He has a plan.

But the pain today makes me frustrated. It's my period, and it's common for me to have a flare during my period. But other than that, I can't think of a reason to be having pain: I'm eating small meals (the TRUE secret to my success these past months), I'm dealing with stress, etc.

I think it has more to do with the fact that Crohn's does what it will, when it will, for no reason that we yet know. I can do everything right that I know to do, and it will still act the way it wants to. The Lord is the only one with true control over it. I would like to remember this verse during this time:

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:17-18