It's a new day

Today I started lessening my dose of Entocort, the steroid that I've been on for about a year and a half. I went from 3 capsules (9mg) to 2 (6mg). And last night was terrible with the anticipation, the despair, the feeling that I will have a flare the first day I try to lessen my steroids. My husband was so patient, helping me to see the bigger picture: for instance, I probably won't have a flare the very first day I lessen the steroids. And that this is only a good thing: it is better and safer to be off the steroids, and if I have to have surgery, there is a good chance that it will improve with my Crohn's, if not push me into remission for awhile.

I visualize my body releasing its addiction to the steroids. I imagine hands opening, relaxing and releasing their grip on the steroids. I pray that God is doing this with my body, helping it to let go of what it needed for a time. I pray that God will even let me go into remission, or be healed completely. I want to see this as a new day, a new start.

And for further peace of mind, I want to prepare for surgery, should it happen. I want to make a plan for my husband's meals, for instance, that can be started should I go into the hospital unexpectedly or expectedly. Things like that. I'd like to know that we have a plan for life's details should I have to go back to the hospital. Even if we don't use the plan, it's worth it for my current state of mind.

I feel pretty good, especially compared to yesterday's dread and despair. Praise the Lord! I'm going to eat smart, exercise, relax, breath slowly, pray, pray, pray, and release my emotions when they come, not hold them in.

Please pray for this transition. There are many indications that it could be very smooth. I need to remember that, because my state of mind can affect how well the transition goes (although Crohn's will still do whatever it wants). I release this all to Jesus.