So, I ask you...

I ask you to check my blog regularly, and then I don't update it for over two weeks. I'm sorry.

I'm back.

I'm back because I'm experiencing difficulties again. Nothing major, but enough so that it's noticeable and disappointing.

This past week, I've been having Crohn's pain. I don't know how to explain it except that it isn't cramping, it isn't bloating, it's a pain that seems unique to Crohn's. A dull pain in my abdomen that, when severe, can make me nauseous. It feels to me like a beacon of wrongness in my body, so even when it's small like it has been, it still makes me sad and somewhat despairing of ever getting better.

Because I was doing pretty well! I was eating well, not having pain, not having to take Maalox for minor issues like I do when I'm struggling, gaining weight (though I have to say, I like being thin, now that I know that I wasn't dangerously thin, just thin for me). So, my husband suggested I blog about it, think it through.

I am very tired this week. I have been since Saturday. I don't feel like I'm catching up on sleep, getting an hour or two less than I'd like every night, and my body just needs more and more on the nights I do get a good amount of sleep. I wonder if my body is catching up on a "sleep debt."

I've lost interest in enjoying food, partially because I have some pain associated with eating, but also because I'm feeling a little down and dysthymic in general. This weather has been gloomy, and I haven't had a day off from my job in awhile, which means that I feel stuck in a routine, and even though I do like routine, I still don't like getting in ruts at work. I need a lot of variety at work.

So, perhaps all of this is because of my lack of sleep. I have a doc appointment (consultation for my root canal) tomorrow mid-morning, so maybe I'll try and sleep in until then. And maybe I'll sleep in Saturday morning if I can, before my cousin's wedding. And then next week, I'll aim to go to sleep around 9pm all week. That would be AWESOME.

Then we'll see how I'm feeling.